In general, I prefer to express opinions through cartoons, but there's something on my mind that needs to be said. In short, I'm very, very worried about John Kerry. Suddenly, the conventional wisdom is that he is the "electable" candidate. I'm afraid this assumption is severely misguided, to the extent that Election 2004 may well be over in February if current trends continue.

Don't get me wrong: Kerry would make a fine president, and if he is the nominee, I will absolutely vote for him. And you should, too. But, as Molly Ivins said recently, he's got no Elvis. Presidential elections in the television age are, sadly, 1% policy and 99% personality, and because of this, Kerry is utterly doomed.

Imagine for a moment that you don't know all the stuff about politics that you already know (I'm assuming a degree of sophistication among Slowpoke readers, of course). All that minutiae about Iraq, the economy, Bush's sickening record of environmental destruction: Erase it from your brain! Now, with your newly-emptied head, picture John Kerry. You have no idea what this guy stands for, but he seems like dead wood incarnate. He's saying something about job loss, but you're not listening, even though you've been unemployed for six months. You have too much pride to vote for some generic politician. Better go for that folksy guy instead!

I won't even go into the strategic problem of Kerry being from Massachussetts. But suffice it to say, the Dems are about to screw themselves again.