SlowpokeBlog

Dredging up an old chestnut, the House approved an amendment last week to ban flag burning. I thought this would be a bigger story -- hence the cartoon -- but I'm thankful it's not. Clearly the flag-burning measure was meant to coincide with Karl Rove's deeply immoral remarks about "liberals" and September 11 as a diversion from Gulag-gate. When the facts go against the Bushies, they respond by misrepresenting the other side. Actually, they do this no matter what -- even gratuitously, as with the made-up story about the Clinton staff vandalizing the White House on their way out. And they, of course, resort to the very basest form of faux patriotism.

More Things Senator Perkins Wants to Ban

I'm pretty lazy about taking pictures when I travel, but you can see a few photos from my trip to San Diego for the AAN convention here.

Had a good time as always at the AAN convention this year. I got to hang out with my cartoonist buds, see an anteater, try out an oxygen bar, and drink beer in Tijuana. To be honest, the anteater was a lot more exciting than the tourist bars of Tijuana. I'll try to post a picture or two from my travels soon.

I flew America West, which has to be the most advertisement-laden airline ever. Perhaps this is a trend elsewhere, but they actually had advertising plastered over the tops of the fold-out tray tables. Now I will forever associate Saab automobiles with orange juice and mini-pretzels. Also, part of the in-flight "entertainment" was a video version of, and advertisment for, the trivia game Cranium. But it doesn't stop there! The trivia questions were also advertisements! One was a word puzzle in which the viewer was given the clue "Crimson Crustacean" and the hint that it's the name of a restaurant. I'll let you figure that one out.

So a couple weeks ago it was reported that a former oil lobbyist now working for the Bush admin rewrote parts of a scientific report on global warming. Global warming is a perfect example of something often treated as a "liberal" issue, one side of a two-sided argument. But it's not, unless you're pro-drowning the people of Tuvalu.

Now we learn that the U.S. has successfully watered down the G8 statement on global warming, in advance of the summit to be held next month:

Among the changes reflected in the May 27 draft was the deletion of an introductory statement, "Our world is warming."

This is nothing short of psychotic.

Fun With Right-Wing Metaphysics

Dateline: San Diego -- Slowpoke has taken first prize in the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies' "Best Cartoon" contest! (That's in the "fewer than five AAN papers" category, though the strip now runs in more than five.) Of course I missed being handed the award by sex columnist Dan Savage, because I skipped out on the ceremony to go to the zoo with my fellow cartoonists. But hey, I got to see a panda take a dump AND still get the award. Kind of like having your cake and eating it. Or something.

I probably should have done a cartoon about Sudan before now -- not that it will accomplish much. As you might imagine, it's difficult to extract anything funny from that situation.

Don't the faux-human rights activists who supported the war in Iraq look like wankers now? "Saddam gassed his own people!" they repeatedly bellowed, referring to the atrocious massacre of the Kurds in 1988. Well, now we have a real, live genocide happening as we speak. Where are the armchair liberators now? Such fickle freedom fighters they are.

I'm off to San Diego soon for the alternative newsweeklies convention, so posting may be light or nonexistent over the next several days. We'll see if I can get my hands on somebody's laptop.

How to Get Americans to Care About Genocide

This may be old news to some of you, but a reader at Harvard recently pointed out a memo written by Larry Summers when he was the chief economist of the World Bank in 1991.

The reader was responding to my posts and cartoon about Summers' comments on women and science -- though I hasten to add, my intention was not to criticize Summers so much as demonstrate why his ideas were problematic. I'll leave the debate over his qualifications to be a university president to the fine folks at Harvard. (My correspondent happened to think he'd actually done some good.)

Anyway, back to the memo: Summers marshaled some amazing arguments to suggest that it made economic sense for rich countries to dump their toxic waste in poor countries.

'Dirty' Industries: "Just between you and me, shouldn't the World Bank be encouraging MORE migration of the dirty industries to the LDCs [Less Developed Countries]?..." (More here)

Yes, he really thought it would be a good idea for the United States to dump its carcinogenic sludge on Zimbabwe.

Brazil's Secretary of the Environment had a perfect response:

"Your reasoning is perfectly logical but totally insane... Your thoughts [provide] a concrete example of the unbelievable alienation, reductionist thinking, social ruthlessness and the arrogant ignorance of many conventional 'economists' concerning the nature of the world we live in..."

Summers later said that the memo was intended to be "ironic," and that it was actually written by someone else. As someone who deals regularly with "irony," I really don't catch even a faint whiff of it here.

I find Summers' argument fascinating, because it is a classic demonstration of one-dimensional logic. Market fundamentalists like to believe their formulas explain everything, when in fact, they are looking through only one lens -- an amoral, decontextualized, ahistorical one at that.

The many faces of a huckster:

Found on Reuters today. My least favorite Bush expression is the last one, that patronizing sneer-smile of a creepy old man who just said something off-color, at which he expects you to laugh.

My Larry Summers cartoon accompanies an article about that controversy in the current issue of Ms.

I've actually been sitting on the idea of having a real government regulate our current fake government for quite some time. A recent example of our fake government at work: the removal of SEC Chair William Donaldson because he was actually doing his job. Heaven forbid the head of a regulatory agency actually regulate anything! By looking out for small investors and pursuing reform, he ruffled feathers among the Republican Elite, and was duly replaced with an oily yes-man. Doesn't anyone remember Enron? All those accounting scandals? I guess not.

As I drew this cartoon, it occurred to me that the word "regulation" is a frame in and of itself. Maybe Lakoff touched on this -- I can't remember -- but the word regulation conjures associations of rules, parental control, the reining in of "freedom." Who wants to be regulated? Not me! On the flip side, "deregulation" sounds like a joyous release from the bondage of red tape. Somehow these have become the standard terms used by journalists, and are often employed by Democrats and progressives themselves. I propose a new terminology: "protecting freedom." Because when a deregulated marketplace results in Enron-style accounting fraud, and people lose their pensions, they're losing freedom. William Donaldson fought for a freedom-protected marketplace; that's why he got canned.

A Government to Regulate the Government

I know complaining about Hummers is somewhat old hat nowadays, but this just got my goat.

Last night I watched a Hummer H2 pull into the parking lot of Whole Foods. The license plate, spelled out, read "Hummer for Me." They parked in a handicapped space right in front of the store, yet it was clear that no one was handicapped (I looked for the symbol on the license plate and in the front window, but did not see one). The people that emerged from the vehicle were a tanned, middle-aged white couple, both wearing lime green pastel clothing, who looked as Republican as the day is long.

You know, if you're going to be that big a selfish jerkwad, you don't deserve to shop at an organic grocery store. You don't deserve the benefits of healthful farming practices which your side has tried to subvert. If you don't care about global warming or believe in science or have any awareness of the consequences of your actions, you deserve a bucket of lard laced with PCBs and mercury.

Which reminds me: if you haven't watched "Store Wars" yet, check it out.

A reader helpfully points out the Jedi Order Page in the Star Wars Databank, which affirms that there are in fact female Jedi. The page even uses the pronoun "she" at one point:

According to the Jedi Code, a Jedi Master may only have one Padawan at a time. Near the end of the Padawan's training, she must undergo trials before ascending to the rank of Knight.

So I retract my earlier threat to call George Lucas something unpleasant. It still would've been nice if one of the female Jedi masters had some lines, but what can you do. At least we didn't have to endure Jar Jar very much (I think he made a brief appearance at the end), something for which I am abundantly grateful.