SlowpokeBlog

It looks like I'm leaving tomorrow on my cross-country drive, so this space may not be updated for a couple weeks. You can, however, monitor my progress here.

Thanks for dooming millions to an early grave!

Gotta keep it short, as I'm trying to blow this popsicle stand (i.e., move out of my house). As you might have guessed, I'm an owner of an idiotphone, but I don't really need anything more than that.

So Mr. Slowpoke and I have decided to head out West for a while, much like the Okies during the Great Depression. Except we're going to Seattle, not California. And we're not seeking migrant work, though it may come to that. We're going to visit family and do some traveling, and see what's what. I'll still be drawing plenty, in between hikes among the giant banana slugs (as a lifelong East Coaster used to small gray slugs, I find those big yellow ones startling). We may eventually wind up back in Virginia, I don't know. Normally I'm not this much of a free spirit, but I'm ready for a change of pace. And isn't this year all about Change?

Conveniently, the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists convention is being held in Seattle, and we're driving the whole way -- yes, all 2,895 miles and then some, if we can make it up to Glacier National Park. And I never thought I'd say this in a million years, but I'm going to try to tweet my journey from my cellphone. So you can come along with me! Except not really.

I had a vague feeling someone -- or several someones, probably -- have done cartoons about cheering the country up, but I really wanted to draw a daschund with a fat tailpipe sticking out of its behind, among other things. And I've wanted to work a moon bounce into a cartoon ever since my old college roommate intimated that she might have one at her wedding reception, and then didn't. (I'm still waiting to get my bounce on, Ashley and Jon!)

I think it's time to make Jell-o molds with suspended fruit chunks the pinnacle of suburban splendor again, don't you?

Some good news: Slowpoke is once again among the finalists in the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies Awards! Of course, we're up against "Tom the Dancing Bug" creator Ruben Bolling, who is the Lance Armstrong of the AAN Awards. I suppose we'll forgive him if he wins again, since he wrote such a nice intro to my book.

I'm happy to see my friend Kenny Be, who was my guide to Denver during the Democratic National Convention, is also a finalist.

Love this quote from Rep. John Boehner at today's unveiling of the Reagan Statue:

Mr. Boehner also talked emotionally about a recent visit to the Reagan Ranch in California. "One of the great things that I saw when I was there was the desk that President Reagan used to sign the Kemp-Roth tax cuts into law," he said.

Heavy, man.

I've gotten out of the habit of watching late-night talk shows, but I tuned into the Tonight Show last night to see a cameo appearance of artwork by my friend Tom Tomorrow (psst! he did the cover art to the new Pearl Jam album!).

And then I kept watching until 2am. Let me recount what I saw: Conan interviewing Will Ferrell; a performance by Pearl Jam; Jimmy Fallon's iffy monologue; banter with announcer Steve Higgins; a sketch in which Jimmy tries to entertain his humorless female assistant and then hangs in the cafeteria with members of house band The Roots; interviews with Anne Hathaway and Will Forte; then Carson Daly in the desert shooting guns with a bunch of Army guys; an ad for Hulu starring Dennis Leary and two twentysomething guys who get their brains sucked out.

I know late night comedy has always been a sausagefest, and I genuinely like Conan, Pearl Jam, and Will Forte -- but a quick tally of the three shows plus the Hulu ad, which I'm including unfairly or not, amounts to approximately 23 sausages and 2 muffs, one of which was basically silent. (Interestingly, this was the exact ratio of male-to-female columnists at the Washington Post at one point last year.) I know I keep banging away at this, but as a media-type gal, I find this both depressing and incredibly weird in the year 2009.

This comic has proven more popular than I expected, collecting StumbleUpon hits out the booty. I guess a lot of people can relate.

I'm going to go further than the Obama administration and say health insurance companies should be dismantled. Their raison d'etre is antagonistic to the consumer: collecting as much as possible in premiums while paying out as little as possible in claims -- and bloating the cost of health care by paying armies of bureaucrats to figure out how to screw you. You know, I hate credit card companies, but at least they provide a service, leechlike though it is. Health insurance companies impede efficient service. Time to excise the executives and put the administrators to work in a fair system.

This comic only slightly exaggerates my personal experience dealing with these bastions of unmitigated evil.

... wasn't a "nice guy" from the very beginning.

Evidence here and here.

Via Barry, here's an interesting blog post that expands a bit more on what I was saying about the new Uhura in the Star Trek movie. The main argument about Uhura is a few paragraphs down.

I love how Congress decided to rescind the gun ban in national parks RIGHT BEFORE I GO ON A TRIP THROUGH AMERICA'S NATIONAL PARKS. Fortunately, the law won't take effect until February, so I won't need to whip out the Killer Weenies. Yes, I am aware of the argument that guns help "good people" defend themselves in the wild. I am also aware that I live in the country, where people fire guns all the time, sometimes stupidly close to my house. In the real world, "good people" often have "accidents."

The Cannibal Corpse lyrics in the Death Metal Campfire Songs gag are from the song "Dormant Bodies Bursting" off of Gore Obsessed.

Continuing with this week's theme of criticizing things that everybody likes but me, I would like to give my opinion of the new Star Trek movie. What J.J. Abrams has done is take the original, contemplative Star Trek and Poochified it.

I trust if you're reading this blog, you are familiar with Poochie from The Itchy & Scratchy Show on The Simpsons. Poochie was a contrived "cool" character brought onto the show to boost ratings. Everyone hated Poochie, though. The young, cocky, frat-Kirk as played by Chris Pine is essence of Poochie, if you ask me.

While the movie isn't awful as a pure action flick, let's just say I stand by this prediction from my New Year comic I drew for C-VILLE Weekly:

Oh, and don't get me started on the gender stuff. The original Star Trek was remarkably progressive in its day; to honor that, Abrams could have thrown in at least a couple interesting female leads. This is the age of Battlestar Galactica, baby. We can handle a Captain Thrace or two. The fact that Uhura is portrayed as a "smart" piece of ass does not quite cut it. Nichelle Nichols was better. So congrats, J.J.! You've "rebooted" the franchise back to the 1950s! Talk about time travel...

I really didn't want to write any more about LOLcats, but my friend August has penned an impassioned defense on their behalf, and in so doing, has set up a couple of straw cats I wish to rebut:

1. I do not think the LOLcats are a threat to the livelihood of cartoonists. I was mostly lamenting the fact that the humor sections of mainstream bookstores are filled with books that pander to certain "safe" demographics -- cat lovers, dog lovers, parents, etc. Ruben Bolling's All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From My Golf-Playing Cats parodies this phenomenon.

2. I never dissed the Roomba cat. The Roomba cat is very funny, as is the stalker cat. (The keyboard cat, I would say not so much.) I like me a funny animal video as much as anyone. Really, I'm OK with internet memes as long as they are truly amusing. Although I do think that a culture that only privileges the viral -- the simple, easy-to-understand entertainment nugget -- is cause for concern. (See: cable news)

3. My dog is using my leg as a pillow right now in a manner that is distractingly cute. So you see, I do have a soul.

4. I think the thing that annoys me most about the LOLcats is the babytalk. I can understand how people think it's funny, but my primary response is revulsion. Also, August is right to state their ubiquity -- and lack of critics -- irritates me. Can I get a witness?

5. Meowcenaries is awesome. Peace offering accepted!

[UPDATE: Seems I have a witness in Mr. Bors. Although he's being a tad uncharitable.]

Yesterday's Business section of the NYT had a couple articles that made me chuckle. One article described the "virtual goods" market on Facebook, which I addressed back in '07 with this cartoon. Check this out:

Facebook sold some $40 million worth of virtual gifts last year, according to analysts... The overall virtual goods market on Facebook is expected to bring in $500 million this year, according to executives at Super Rewards, a company that sells virtual currency.

Damn! Maybe I should start selling the idea of cartoons instead.

There was also this article about the current struggles of Wired Magazine. Last year I blogged (skeptically) about a cover story by editor Chris Anderson touting FREE! as the "future of business." Here's how Anderson is dealing with Wired's money problems:

As for the free theory, Mr. Anderson is actually considering the opposite. He is weighing raising the price or straying from the traditional magazine business model with ideas like tiered pricing with different benefits.

I must admit to a wry, knowing nod or two.

Let me state up front that this is not about hating on cats. If anything, I am defending the dignity of our feline friends. No, this cartoon is about comedy. Comedy in an age where publishers chase after viral websites, hoping to cash in on a zeitgeist while it's still hot. In a way, I can't blame them. Cats with tiny pancakes on their forehead are probably all that's keeping them afloat right now. If you can't beat 'em, though, at least you can insult them. Personally, my cynical cartoonist sensibilities make the post-ironic cutism of the LOLcats hard to stomach. (If you want a good cat book, see B. Kliban's sellout masterpiece, "Cat.")

One reader who wrote me a confused-sounding email in which he both complimented and insulted me, had this to say:

Why be mad at the cheezeburger cat book? Isn't it more fun to celebrate it than hate it?

No. It is more fun to hate it.

[PS: Some commenters seem to think I'm "jealous" of the cat books. Right now, on the "Stuff on My Cat" website, there is a photo of a cat hugging a stuffed rabbit with the caption "You're nobody till some bunny loves you." No, I'm not jealous of that. I think "disappointed in humanity" is more like it. Somebody has to say it!]

Today I attended the Emily Couric Leadership Luncheon, named after Katie Couric's late sister who was a state senator from my area. I was kindly invited by a delegate who I interviewed on the floor at the Democratic National Convention last August.

The organization was honoring journalist Kimberly Dozier, who was severely injured in a 2006 bombing in Iraq. Dozier flatlined five times, but today she can walk again, and she even completed a marathon.

Makes you think: those unpaid "citizen journalists" and "information curators" who will report the news in the future better start saving for Kevlar vests, since they'll be doing similar work, right?

Bumper stickers spotted side-by-side on a pickup truck last night:

"I'M A TEAMSTER AND I VOTE"

"McCAIN-PALIN"

Why not save space with one sticker? "I'M PRO-LABOR AND I VOTE AGAINST IT."

A couple years ago, I noticed the book Stuff on My Cat featured prominently in the humor section of my local B&N. Then More Stuff on My Cat. Then came the heavily-advertised novel Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who [ugh] Touched the World. Then the cringe-inducing -- and bestselling -- I Can Haz Cheezburger? book. And now, with my last book having disappeared from the shelves, we get Wet Cats, yet another emission from the Stuff On My Cat guy. As a humorist trafficking in such arcana as "words" and "opinions," I think it's time for Stuff on My Stuff on My Cat Book. The "stuff" could consist of a steamroller, the Atlantic Ocean, ten tons of untreated sewer sludge. You get the idea.

(NOTE: In no way do I advocate running over cats with steamrollers. I only wish to flatten the cloyingly cute picture books.)

This week's strip was apparently posted to a couple social bookmarking sites in Iceland. I've gotten thousands of hits from Icelanders since yesterday -- and considering Iceland only has 320,000 people, that would mean at least 1% of the population has seen my cartoon. I eagerly await my personal email from Björk!