The Mental Stimulus Plan Barack Obama: "I'm pleased to announce a bipartisan plan to address unemployment. We can't tell you what it is, but I promise many of you will soon be happier."

That night during "Celebrity Apprentice"-- Hypnotist: "You are feeling verrrry sleepy and able to pay your bills. On the count of three, you will awaken knowing you have a deeply satisfying job."

The unemployment rate plummets as jobless claims cease. "Hold my calls -- I've got a meeting with Bono." Actual reality: homeless in alley

Obama's poll numbers soar... or so he believes. Obama: "My fellow Americans..." Passersby: "He thinks he's still president! He has no idea the Supreme Court extended his term and installed Michele Bachmann!"